Its hard to respond much more than that, looking back on Spring Break 2009 with my good friends Logan, Nik, Rob, and Kyle [not to mention all of the awesome people we met and hung out with while there...mostly importantly Colin]. Unfortunately for all of you not present on the cruise, the island of Corfu, the stay in Athens, and the cruise back..."What happens on Spring Break 09...stays in Spring Break 09!"
So I've devised away to give you snippets [is that a word?] that will kind of fill you in on some of the absolutely crazy-ass fun events that happened over the week with out incriminating anyone in particular. What I am going to do is give you short, ambiguous one or two liners that could apply to anyone or no one. I may have learned these things through a personal experience, through a friend, or heard about it through word of mouth. This is going to be a HOW TO SURVIVE SPRING BREAK 09 handbook, if you will. All you need to know that every single statement below are absolutely true...
HOW TO SURVIVE SPRING BREAK 09
by: Lucas Staib
by: Lucas Staib
+It's smarter AND cheaper to buy a stock pile of liqueur and champagne at a cheap super market before you leave for SB09
+The wardrobe you pack for SB09 should be solely determinant on how many t-shirts you need to wrap your previously stated stock pile so that they don't break in transit.
+Just because your on a boat doesn't mean you can't party...in fact it gives you more of a reason to. See this if you haven't already...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU
+Slip and Sliding on the top deck is dangerous and should only be done by the drunkest of professionals.
+Just because you're not a famous DJ from New York doesn't mean you can't DJ in a discotheque on a cruise boat.
+The Kite Runner involves the religion of Islam...not Judaism. And yes...there is a difference.
+Slovakian truck drivers are very, very friendly...
+No need for a cabin on a cruise, just have sex in the hall way. The employees don't mind.
+A 20 person hot tub next to the beach on SB09, no matter how many STD's you think it may contain, is too tempting to not get in.
+Ouzo is the local Greek alcohol...like Vodka in Russia and Tequila in Mexico. And like vodka and tequila...its wretched.
+When pre-gaming dinner, be mindful of that fact that you may not even make it to dinner.
+Getting with a girl on SB09 may be easy, but its never a guarantee. There is always something you can do or say to ruin it, no matter how drunk and no matter far along in the game you are.
+"Big steps" are always bigger than they look...way bigger.
+Offering to urinate, in any sexual form, is like karaoke...ALWAYS a bad idea.
+If there is no booze cruise...make your own.
+Drinking 101 beers before 1pm is do-able...and extremely suggested when on SB09.
=Birra of the Blog="101 beers before 1pm?! That's crazy!" you might say. But you'll think we were even crazier when you realize we were drinking this shit. ALPHA is the cheapest piss water a Spring Breaker can find in Greece. Think of it like a Greek Nati Lite. Its shit...but it gets the job done. "Hellenic Quality Lager" my ass!
+Warm sand is the best feeling in the world after a cold, drunken dip in the Adriatic Sea.
+Some sand mermaids are made just better equipped than others.
+Peeling and orange and putting it in cheap vodka does not make it taste better...it only makes dirty cheap vodka.
+Eighteen year olds who graduate high school early and live in Amsterdam for a semester are the coolest. And yes...its ok to be jealous of them.
+Banana chairs are fun but can be used against you. Newton's third law of motion is a bitch.
+If your wearing a pink toga on SB09 and your not drunk...there is a problem.
+Getting a Greek plate smashed over your head hurts alot more than it looks.
+With enough alcohol, you too can become a professional break dancer.
+Tonic water is not beer.
+People who tell you to be quiet or that you're too drunk are apparently nuns and packed bibles instead of bottles. They're no fun.
+In Athens, they have a complete disregard for driving and construction safety.
+The Athens General Hospital may be the worst place in the world...and I USED to be a unquestioning advocate of Socialized Medicine.
+26 liters of wine in one night is also do-able. And also extremely suggested.
+It is also ok to be jealous of your forty year old Australian trip organizer who lives in Switzerland to snow board and makes this SB09 trip five times a year.
+Don't forget your Circus Peanuts.
+When bathing suits are not handy...go with underwear. When underwear are not handy... go naked.
+The Acropolis is #1 on the list of 1001 places to see before you die. Get there!
+SPRING BREAK 09 in GREECE = BEST IDEA EVER!
So, for those of you present for these, I'm sure your laughing and looking back on those times saying to yourself "Man, I wish I was back there!"...either that or "What the fuck was I thinking!?". For those you who were not present...I'm sorry...you missed out and your probably either just more confused now or your about to explode with curiosity. If something is really is just gnawing away at your soul and you simply just cannot go with out know what happened, depending on who you are and what you want to know, you can e-mail and I may tell you...
That's it...please don't judge.
Leaving for BEER FEST in Munich, Germany tomorrow...wish me luck!
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